I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
