dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
