I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
