They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
