New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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