I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if only i could text you this smell
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
