Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
