You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
zippers are such a cool invention
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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