I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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