thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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