I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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