It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
