HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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