you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
