Where did you get a picture of my penis
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
