How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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