As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need a beard to bite.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
