We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
