i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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