so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drunk is not a location!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
