i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
