Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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