Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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