I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
