I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
