OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
