I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
