: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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