You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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