I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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