OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
