Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize