Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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