Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
