i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
