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do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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