she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
