My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just high enough for therapy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
