I want to walk on stilts...naked
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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