Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
