When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
