y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
