porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
