Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
BRING THE BAGELS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
