It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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