My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
