And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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