We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize