If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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