Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
its liver damage thursday
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
