Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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